just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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