I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
