Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize