Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's blow job season.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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