He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
