I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I look better un-naked...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
