i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
