I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
