Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
