well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
