We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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