Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
