You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
jump out the window naked night went bad
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