good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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