you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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