I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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