so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
