My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
