I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I would ride that face into the sunset
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think I just sharted jello shots
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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