Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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