I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
