Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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