think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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