You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
