on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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