I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
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