i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
