so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
