Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
