I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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