her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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