question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
