Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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