I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
vagina is talking i cant
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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