we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
