Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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