Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
