You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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