Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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