he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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