Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
