the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I would fuck him just for his dog
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
