you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
