He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
