Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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