Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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