Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
