Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
