he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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