i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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