u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
