i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
how drunk are you?
Several
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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