that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
