You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
