She's JV to your varsity
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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