I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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