I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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