I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
